A Note from: Pissy von Irkleton
I feel pissy today.
Call me Pissy von Irkleton, First Lady of Frowns.
There are causes for this mood. I understand them. I thought that understanding them would and should elevate my mood, but that's not how my feelings work. Learning why I feel a certain way doesn't do the work of feeling the feeling. The feeling is necessary sometimes, so it sticks around. Because that's how I feel in this moment, and that is valid.
A less-than-joyful feeling isn't LESS than anything: it just is.
I categorize emotions like anger and joy as Big Feelings because I've seen them represented and almost encouraged in all of humanity. My ideas of them are directly influenced by how I see them experienced and expressed by others. Without my conscious participation, I begin judging myself and gauging my ability to feel things properly.
As if there is such a way to feel a feeling.
As if there is any wrong way to embody and express my own insides.
It doesn't seem accidental that there are no fewer than forty trillion mass media messages screaming at me to be happy. It also doesn't seem innocuous that there are barely a handful of them that tell me to listen to my pissiness and my rage and my dissatisfaction. Where is the chorus of voices that reassure me--that remind me--that I already have most of the answers I need?
Your mood and emotions don't have to be Big Feelings to be valid; Pissy has just as much to teach us as ecstasy. I feel pissy because I have reasons to be; that's an anticlimactic conclusion, and it's also honest. Maybe this feeling is just a feeling, and maybe it's an indication of larger issues that need to be addressed. I'm not there yet--The Figuring Out part--because I'm still in the Feeling That Shit part. Both valid. Both important.
Long live Pissy von Irkleton.