Revelation by Tarot, or: I Am The Highest Miranda Priestly

 
Revelation by Tarot, or: I am the Highest Miranda Priestly // Becoming Kelly
 

The most beautiful thing I’ve seen today is this woman, The High Priestess. I drew her as a totem for my Mind.

I cross-my-heart promise that I would have shit my sweatpants in disbelief and comedic irony if I had drawn her for Body because sometimes I’m not as enlightened as I’d like to be: I would have interpreted Body to include Wardrobe Choices and this majestic woman would have been signifying the stark reality of my Sriracha shirt, aggressively fuchsia/unapologetically threadbare sweatpants and Popple-esque side bun.

Like I was saying.

The High Priestess signifies veiled wisdom. Veiled, people. As in, probably wearing these raggedy ass fashions. Just because my body is in these clothes doesn’t mean my mind is wearing them.
My mind wears Prada.
She is Miranda Priestly. Sometimes.

Reading the deck’s guide to add depth and meaning to this card, my mind’s totem, this sentence reached its tiny fingers up and flicked me in the middle of the forehead:

“Those who are brave enough to listen in her stillness will gain the strength and conviction they seek for future actions.”

Veiled wisdom. Cloaked certainty.

She knows.

I. Know.

I sit still and hear what I already know to be true.

______________

The card I drew for my Body was The World.

Revelation by Tarot, or: I am the Highest Miranda Priestly // Becoming Kelly

The whole damned and holy world.

Whole.

She is integrated, a new being, complete within herself.

My mind and body are exactly as they should be, a truth and reality I have been throwing myself against.

_______________

“What if…” is the wardrobe door to Narnia.

What if there is no problem?

What if I consider a reality that does not pit me against my body--my self?

What if I consider a reality wherein it is impossible to exist as a problem? Or have a body that is one?

There are no solutions.
Nothing to be done.

No TO DO manifestos.
No consume-to-produce, shrink-to-matter, slouch-toward-Bethlehem.
No mandates or strictures or prescriptions.
No movement necessary.

 

Sitting.
Still.
Seeing.
Entertaining.
FUCKING MARVELLING.

 

Sit in awe.
Worship.
Silently.
Weep.
Jubilant.
Dance.

If there is no problem, there is no solution.

Put them all down.
Disarm.
Knuckles release, white to salmon pink.
Gently place. Maliciously throw.

Drop it.
Release it.
Gently.
Lovingly.
Angrily.
Hastily.
Tenderly.
Resentfully.

Leave yourself alone: You can be trusted in her care.