Revelation

I was a very active child. I walked at 9 months and never looked back. I was a runner, a swimmer, a gymnast, a dancer. I played basketball, baseball and football with my brothers and the neighborhood boys. I was a sprinter, setting school records as early as elementary school, and was even a member of a relay team in 7th grade that set a state record. I loved being active. I was an athlete. A competitor. I loved a challenge. But a variety of factors led to my decision to put my athletic side on hold. Repeated ankle sprains caused my doctor to recommend a halt on my running. My parents deteriorating marriage led to increased responsibilities for me at home. The inevitable boy-craziness of a young teenage girl also played a part, but the biggest reason my competitive side had to pause was my first pregnancy. I was only 16. And I was scared. And quickly gaining a belly- and a lot of extra weight. Throughout my pregnancy I gained 70 lbs! That is far more than the doctor recommended 25-30 lbs for an average weight woman. My body retained so much fluid! What a relief it was to finally give birth to my daughter- to ease the strain on my body- to reduce my weight. I actually left the hospital 48 hours after her birth 40 lbs lighter than when I has walked in the door to deliver her! Talk about a quick way to lose weight! but it was torture trying to lose the remaining 30lbs. I ate salads for lunch and dinner. I did 1 or 2 hours of cardio each day and it still took me almost a year to lose 20 lbs. And I was still 1 or 2 sizes bigger than before I had gotten pregnant. So frustrating!

Today I had the realization that I had once set and achieved goals so easily, but I rarely set any goals anymore. I haven’t for a long time. I realized that I gave up on my own dreams a long time ago. Partly due to circumstances I couldn’t change, but mainly because of choices I had made. I had stopped believing in myself, stopped believing that I could achieve my dreams and had stopped dreaming. But that is all changing now. I believe in myself again. And I am ready to begin dreaming again. Ready to reclaim my life. Ready to let my inner athlete run free! So I got out my weights, resistance bands and fitness magazines and pumped out 40 minutes of strength training, followed by a 40 minute, 3 mile walk…with a bit of jogging thrown in. So now I map out a plan for my journey to regain myself…my health, my life.